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Most Excellent Jokes

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wagi
RedCleft!
ImagineerTom
baz6174
theultimatefish
Gravity
Jeremy
El Frog
Crumpet Face
KingVeveraine
Jonathan
15 posters

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1Most Excellent Jokes Empty Most Excellent Jokes Mon Apr 19, 2010 3:40 pm

Jonathan

Jonathan
Admin

I recently went to the Doctor and I said "Help, I've got a strawberry growing out of my head".

"No problem, I've got some cream for that", he replied...

2Most Excellent Jokes Empty Re: Most Excellent Jokes Mon Apr 19, 2010 3:44 pm

KingVeveraine

KingVeveraine
Admin

HAHAHARDYHO!

3Most Excellent Jokes Empty Re: Most Excellent Jokes Tue Apr 20, 2010 9:24 am

Crumpet Face

Crumpet Face
I am beloved of the Guac!

I pictured Matt Smith saying that. Am I strange?

4Most Excellent Jokes Empty Re: Most Excellent Jokes Tue Apr 20, 2010 10:13 am

Jonathan

Jonathan
Admin

Crumpet Face wrote:I pictured Matt Smith saying that. Am I strange?

Yes, you are, but not just because of that!

Why was Cheryl Cole jealous of the Icelandic volcano? It's still blowing Ash...

5Most Excellent Jokes Empty Re: Most Excellent Jokes Tue Apr 20, 2010 10:40 am

Crumpet Face

Crumpet Face
I am beloved of the Guac!

These jokes are rubbish! I've heard them all before!

6Most Excellent Jokes Empty Re: Most Excellent Jokes Tue Apr 20, 2010 3:15 pm

El Frog

El Frog
Admin

I recently applied to the local blacksmith for a job.

"Have you got any experience shoeing horses?" he asked.

"No" I replied "but I did tell a donkey to sod off yesterday..."

http://www.fellowshipoftheox.co.uk

7Most Excellent Jokes Empty Re: Most Excellent Jokes Wed Apr 21, 2010 3:58 pm

Jeremy

Jeremy
I am beloved of the Guac!

El Frog wrote:I recently applied to the local blacksmith for a job.

"Have you got any experience shoeing horses?" he asked.

"No" I replied "but I did tell a donkey to sod off yesterday..."

This joke was better in its full sweary glory! MadThumbs Up

8Most Excellent Jokes Empty Re: Most Excellent Jokes Wed Apr 21, 2010 5:57 pm

El Frog

El Frog
Admin

Jeremy wrote:This joke was better in its full sweary glory! MadThumbs Up

El Frog Indeed, but I chose not to invoke the swear filter by saying love! Mad Thumbs Up




http://www.fellowshipoftheox.co.uk

9Most Excellent Jokes Empty Re: Most Excellent Jokes Wed Apr 21, 2010 5:59 pm

El Frog

El Frog
Admin

Oh yes, and while I'm at it: I have just finished reading a book about the digestive system. It starts well enough, but the ending is total crap!

http://www.fellowshipoftheox.co.uk

10Most Excellent Jokes Empty Re: Most Excellent Jokes Sat Apr 24, 2010 3:26 am

El Frog

El Frog
Admin

Moreover, did you hear(s) about the Dutchman who was intent on making inflatable versions of their traditional shoes?

He popped his clogs!

http://www.fellowshipoftheox.co.uk

11Most Excellent Jokes Empty Re: Most Excellent Jokes Sat Apr 24, 2010 3:59 pm

Jonathan

Jonathan
Admin

Here's another joke:

A dyslexic man walked into a bra...

12Most Excellent Jokes Empty Re: Most Excellent Jokes Sat Apr 24, 2010 4:19 pm

Gravity

Gravity
I am beloved of the Guac!

Two blondes are on opposite sides of a river. One screams to the other, "How do I get on the other side?"

The first one yells back, "You ARE on the other side!"

13Most Excellent Jokes Empty Re: Most Excellent Jokes Sat Apr 24, 2010 4:26 pm

El Frog

El Frog
Admin

Did you hear about the dyslexic insomniac atheist?


He lay awake at night, wondering if there was such a thing as a dog...

http://www.fellowshipoftheox.co.uk

14Most Excellent Jokes Empty Re: Most Excellent Jokes Tue Apr 27, 2010 9:12 am

theultimatefish

theultimatefish
I am beloved of the Guac!

El Frog wrote:Did you hear about the dyslexic insomniac atheist?


He lay awake at night, wondering if there was such a thing as a dog...

That... actually made me laugh. Red Face

15Most Excellent Jokes Empty Re: Most Excellent Jokes Tue Apr 27, 2010 3:31 pm

baz6174

baz6174
I am beloved of the Guac!

Two blonds arguing in the woods:
"They are deer tracks."
"No, they are badger tracks."
"Deer!"
"Badger!"
They were still arguing when the train hit them.

16Most Excellent Jokes Empty Re: Most Excellent Jokes Tue Apr 27, 2010 3:36 pm

baz6174

baz6174
I am beloved of the Guac!

The catholic church have invented a new low-fat communion wafer. They are calling it "I can't believe it's not Jesus"

17Most Excellent Jokes Empty Re: Most Excellent Jokes Tue Apr 27, 2010 3:40 pm

Jonathan

Jonathan
Admin

I'm good friends with a cannibal. He recently returned from a holiday, when he arrived I noticed that his leg was missing. When I asked him why it wasn't there, he told me "It was self-catering".

18Most Excellent Jokes Empty Re: Most Excellent Jokes Tue Apr 27, 2010 5:21 pm

ImagineerTom

ImagineerTom
I am beloved of the Guac!

baz6174 wrote:The catholic church have invented a new low-fat communion wafer. They are calling it "I can't believe it's not Jesus"

:My shoes tremble with delight!!:

http://imagineertom.webs.com

19Most Excellent Jokes Empty Re: Most Excellent Jokes Wed Apr 28, 2010 2:57 am

El Frog

El Frog
Admin

It was only while eating my bowl of cornflakes this morning that I realised that I was a cereal killer...

http://www.fellowshipoftheox.co.uk

20Most Excellent Jokes Empty Re: Most Excellent Jokes Wed Apr 28, 2010 4:21 am

RedCleft!

RedCleft!
I am beloved of the Guac!

A little kid asks his father, "Daddy, is God a man or a woman?"

"Both son. God is both."

After a while the kid comes again and asks, "Daddy, is God black or white?"

"Both son, both."

The child returns a few minutes later and says, "Daddy, is Michael Jackson God?"

http://redoctoberrct3.webs.com

21Most Excellent Jokes Empty Re: Most Excellent Jokes Thu Apr 29, 2010 1:32 pm

El Frog

El Frog
Admin

My neighbour's youngest son was admitted to hospital today with 6 toy horses stuck up inside his rectum. Doctors have described his condition as stable...

http://www.fellowshipoftheox.co.uk

22Most Excellent Jokes Empty Re: Most Excellent Jokes Fri Apr 30, 2010 7:28 pm

wagi

wagi
I am beloved of the Guac!

Most Excellent Jokes 1240978470png

23Most Excellent Jokes Empty Re: Most Excellent Jokes Sun May 02, 2010 2:10 pm

wagi

wagi
I am beloved of the Guac!

Most Excellent Jokes 29453_394175650969_565580969_396627

24Most Excellent Jokes Empty Re: Most Excellent Jokes Wed May 05, 2010 6:46 pm

Andrew

Andrew
I am beloved of the Guac!

When life gives you melons, you known your dyslexic

25Most Excellent Jokes Empty Re: Most Excellent Jokes Fri May 07, 2010 3:32 am

RedCleft!

RedCleft!
I am beloved of the Guac!

Most Excellent Jokes Jewjitsu

http://redoctoberrct3.webs.com

26Most Excellent Jokes Empty Re: Most Excellent Jokes Sat May 08, 2010 12:39 pm

Adam

Adam
I am beloved of the Guac!

What is pink, silver, and runs into walls?

A baby with forks in it's eyes!

27Most Excellent Jokes Empty Re: Most Excellent Jokes Sat May 08, 2010 5:56 pm

wagi

wagi
I am beloved of the Guac!

You people have some odd place names over on that side of the pond...
Most Excellent Jokes 29453_394004220969_565580969_396204

28Most Excellent Jokes Empty Re: Most Excellent Jokes Sun May 09, 2010 3:49 pm

The Heth

The Heth
I am beloved of the Guac!

I live near a place called Scratchy Bottom...




How many Vietnam veterans does it take to change a lightbulb?

You wouldn't know man, you don't know the things we saw, you weren't there! YOU WEREN'T THEEEEERE!!!

29Most Excellent Jokes Empty Re: Most Excellent Jokes Sun May 09, 2010 4:43 pm

El Frog

El Frog
Admin

How many Oxford University students does it take to change a light bulb?

One - he stands, holding the bulb up to the socket and waits for the world to revolve around him...

http://www.fellowshipoftheox.co.uk

30Most Excellent Jokes Empty Re: Most Excellent Jokes Fri May 14, 2010 2:59 pm

baz6174

baz6174
I am beloved of the Guac!

Cats and Dogs

What is a CAT?

1. Cats do what they want.
2. They rarely listen to you.
3. They're totally unpredictable.
4. When you want to play, they want to be alone.
5. When you want to be alone, they want to play.
6. They expect you to cater to their every whim.
7. They're moody.
8. They leave hair everywhere.

CONCLUSION: They're tiny women in little fur coats.


What is a DOG?

1. Dogs spend all day sprawled on the most comfortable piece of furniture in the house.
2. They can hear a package of food opening half a block away, but don't hear you when you're in the same room.
3. They can look dumb and lovable all at the same time.
4. They growl when they are not happy.
5. When you want to play, they want to play.
6. When you want to be alone, they want to play.
7. They leave their toys everywhere.
8. They do disgusting things with their mouths and then try to give you a kiss!
9. They go right to your crotch as soon as they meet you.

CONCLUSION: They're tiny men in little fur coats.

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